Vacancy (2006)

Vacancy (2007)
Directed by Nimrod Antal
Written by Mark L. Smith

Man, what a paint-by-numbers piece of predictable shit. It's like the writer watched every PG-13 horror movie ever, and then added some tits and blood into his script and was finished.

Seriously, couple breaks down on side of road. (How many countless crappy movies start like this? So why do it here?) Well, they'll just call for some help.

NOPE, CAN'T DO THAT! And why not!? NO CELL PHONE SERVICE OF COURSE!!!!

I didn't see that coming. So they walk up the road to the local motel. RUN BY A CREEPY OWNER!?

So fantastically original!

And then I give the writer credit for making it about snuff films, I haven't seen a shitty movie about snuff films since 8MM. But 8MM this is not. It turns into a shitty slasher, with the characters trapped in the motel room.

The killer(s) are conveniently always in the perfect spot to either cut the telephone wire, shut off the power, or cut the battery line in a cop car! AMAZINGLY ORIGINAL!

Seriously, if you haven't seen every scene in this movie, then you obviously haven't watched enough good movies, so do yourself a favor and go watch The Hitcher, The Vanishing, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Wrong Turn, When A Stranger Calls, Black Christmas, and every other movie that this piece of shit steals from. And read Andrew Kevin Walker's original 8MM script for good musings on the world of snuff films.

I think the other thing that bugs me is that this movie isn't just a rip-off, it rips off 3 movies that have since been pretty crappily remade (sans TCM, I liked that).

Is it any coincidence that the director's name is NIMROD? I think not, his parents hit the nail on the head with that one.

4.2/10

Fuck this movie.