Written by Shane Salerno
Directed by Colin Strause & Greg Strause
I  went into this will severly lowered expectations, I never bothered with  the first film in it's PG-13 form, I purchased the unrated DVD, but I  was never able to make it past the 30 minute mark, it was just too  boring for my tastes.  I did like the reference that Lance Henrickson  was playing Weyland, it made the android modeled after him work  perfectly, but on the other hand, it just made me sad to know this is  the kind of crap he is relegated to these days, and this was a great job  for him, in comparison to the other stuff I've seen him in at  Blockbuster.  
So of course I saw the introduction of Yutani  coming from miles away, but I'll give them credit, they actually went  through with it, whereas in the original AvP, the Yutani character got  cut altogether.  I mean, the ending of this film introduces the  character, but it's like the end of Terminator 3, where the audience is  like "Wow!  Way to conclude with what we know!"  Now, I liked Terminator  3, I felt it was well done, and they did well connecting the loose ends  that would lead to what we already knew.  This film, however, doesn't  do that good of a job, and for the most part it's a mess on many  different levels.
The plot, as inexplicable and unneeded as it is  from the beginning, only gets in the way of this movie.  I'll keep it  short, because even after you see the movie, you won't care about the  plot or the characters, you're never given a reason to, nor do you, the  Alien and Predator fan, really want to.  You want to see the Aliens and  Predator do war, which they do, to an extent.  Don't be mistaken by the  tone of this review so far, I liked the film, but it could have been so  much better than it was.  I liked the nature of the fight scenes, if not  the execution and style in which they were achieved.  Yes, there is  much more bad filmmaking in this installment, as there was I'm sure in  the Paul. W.S. Anderson version before it.  
So, the plot.   Aliens invade a Predator ship, not sure where, that type of information  was seemingly deemed unworthy of this spectacle, and the ensuing fight  causes the ship to land on Earth, somewhere in Colorado.  Here's where  the humans become involved, and start meddling and intermixing with the  Predator, as the Predator is being hunted by the Aliens, who are hunting  around town, face hugging and wreaking general Alien havoc.  The humans  have their own little storylines, along with a thinly veiled rip off of  Dreamcatcher's third act, but that's not the point of this movie.   Since that's the second time I've said that, you may begin to wonder  what the point actually is.  Well, I'm not really sure.  
So  Aliens (could be anywhere from 8-34 of them, it's never really shown)  are feeding on humans, impregnating them, and tracking the Predator, of  which there is one.  This Predator sees the video of his crashed  comrade's demise, and sets out to Earth from the Predator planet (which  is shown for all of 4 seconds, should have been a lot longer) to avenge  his friend, or so we guess.  War ensues, with the Predator being like a  Mafia clean up man, dissolving in acid the bodies of the dead humans,  and spent facehuggers, and anything else organic he can find.  
In  the meantime, it is show that a Pred-Alien is created, but for reasons  I'll discuss in the coming paragraphs, you never actually get a good  look at it.  Yes, this movie is that inexplicable and badly edited, to  the point where the high point of the movie is very well hidden, which  seems intentional.  The Aliens and Predator bang all around town,  fighting here and there as they go, with the action cutting back to the  humans, who are fighting the virtually faceless enemies, at least from  their point of view.  
My biggest disappointment with this film  was the stylistic choices made (or lack thereof), the incoherent screen  direction, and editing so fast Michael Bay would get a headache.   Really, for about every foot that had light on screen, there were 10  feet of darkness.  On a 25 foot screen, this is not good news, you spend  half the time trying to figure out what an image is, but as I  mentioned, due to the quick editing, you are never given the chance to  figure it out.  Literally, the cuts are so quick you'll get a flash of  an Alien tail, Alien teeth, and then a body being removed of a limb or  something.  You have no time, or no sense of the image at hand to truly  understand what just happened, and then it's off to the next really fast  shot.  I honestly can't understand the theory behind this, at this  point in both of the series, no one is surprised by the element of the  Aliens or Predator, so I don't understand why they don't just show them  in full light, in all their glory.  Honestly, you can't make out any of  the details on either creature, and it gets annoying trying to keep up  with the images, with flash faster than you can think, resulting in a  kill where you don't know who or what is responsible for it.  
The  editing and lighting aren't the only abusive elements, the screen  direction and composition themselves add to the confusion.  Every time  the Pred-Alien is shown, you never get a full shot, it's always the  feet, or a close up of the mouth, which are also shown VERY briefly, and  in super low light.  This is not a style, it's lazy, bad filmmaking.   Not to mention you can never gauge what is happening on screen, as the  camera spins and moves so fast, that you don't have any reference for  the people in the frame to the Aliens or Predator, one shot they're on  the left side, the next shot is from the Predator's POV (another  annoying element) and then in the next shot the person is on the ground  dead.  You can't understand the action if it is never properly presented  to you visually.  
Despite all of this, I liked the movie, I  really wanted to see more though, and like I suspected, all the gore in  the Red Band trailer was pretty much all the gore in the movie.  Edited  together into a 2 minute spot it looks very promising, but very lazily  spotted across an 86 minute film, it becomes lackluster compared to the  expectations you've set by the time you go to see the film.  All of  these techniques and errors combined to really disappoint me by the time  the film ended, which by the end, I had to ask myself "That's it?"  The  film could have been so much more epic, with large scale battles and  time spent on the Predator planet.  Instead, you get a clip show of  everything, and the audience is never even shown how many Aliens there  are, let alone what they're doing the whole time.  Enjoyable for  hardcore fans that can conceive of what is going on for themselves, but  overall disappointing, and really, just a poorly made action picture.   The script is basically what I expected, I think they found a pretty  good balance of human action vs Alien/Predator activity, but the fanboy  in me would like to see an all out war or something along those lines on  the Predator planet.  Disappointing, it's the only word I keep coming  back to.  
5.2/10
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